What Would Happen If
by Goddess of Stupidity
Summary: What would happen if... it's my first DMC fic. pweese be nice R&R. No. 12 added.


WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF…

By: Goddess_of_Stupidity

I don't own DMC esp. Dante.  (Wish I did though)  T_T

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1) Dante runs out of ammo.

    Dante: This isn't good.  (Being chased by a mob of angry Marionettes)

           Time to use my secret weapon. 

           "SHIN HADOUKEN!"        

2) Mundus' real form was actually…Hmm…   

    Mundus: Ughh!  I'm not yet defeated!  Feel the wrath of my true form!

    Dante: What the hell?!

POOF!

Mundus changed into…Barney the ANNOYING purple dinosaur.

    Barney: Hi kids!  It's me Barney!

    Dante: NOOOO! ! !

3) All of a sudden Ifrit's inexhaustible flame is actually exhaustible.

    Dante: Damn.  Anybody got a lighter?

Silence…

                     A match will do.

4) Nelo Angelo is gay!

    N.A.: Dante!  Let's be friends (Winks at him)

    Dante: EEK!  Get away from me!  Yah! (Decapitates N.A.)

               That wasn't part of the script!  (Yells at the DMC staff)

    DMC producer: Who placed that shark code in the game?   

5) Mundus is also gay?!

    Mundus: Let's be friends!  (Tries to kiss Dante)

    Dante: The hell?!  Yuck!  (Moves away)

    Mundus: I love…

Dante impales him using Alastor.

    Dante: Don't even say it!  (Breathes heavily)

6) Dante is also…

    Dante: Don't even think about it!

He stares at the DMC staff and esp. the author of this fanfic.

    G_of_S: What?!

7) Dante's hair is actually blonde.

Dante puts some hair gel and made his hair stand up and says,

    Dante: BANG!  Yo!  I'm Vash the Stampede.  (Trigun)

8) DMC didn't actually take place in Mallet Island, but in a kiddie set.    

Dante: What the hell?!  Nooo!  Help!  These dancing flowers are freak'in me! ! !          

           Ahh!  The stuffed animals are talking!  Help me!  Ahhh!

9) Dante woke up in the wrong side of the bed.

In any normal day, Dante wakes up without any complaints; makes some coffee; and turns on the T.V. for some good Ol' 

"Monster Truck Mayhem." 

Until one day…

Dante: Gahh! (Falls down to the floor)

He makes some coffee.

Dante: Pfoooohhh!  Yuck!  What kinda' coffee is this?!  Oh no It's 8:01!  The T.V.!  Must not miss my favorite show!  

He dashed out of the kitchen and leapt for the remote on the couch.  

Dante: NOOOOOO!  (Slow motion effect complete with the deep dark tone) 

He grabbed it and turned the T.V. just in time for…

WELCOME TO THE BARNEY SHOW!

Dante: Sigh…

Barney: Hi kids! Welcome to the Barney show!  Our special guests for today are, the TELETUBBIES!

Dante: They are so darn CUTE! ! !

*              *              *

G_of_S: Oh man that was so freaky!  Did I just write that?  Oh silly me…

10) Dante dresses up as Santa Claus for some weird and unknown reason…(Shrug)

Scene 1: Dante has a kid on his lap.

Dante: Whaddya want kiddo?

Kid: I wanna have a marionette toy!

Dante: Anything else?

Kid: I also want a Nelo Angelo figurine.

Dante: Aside from that?  (Losing his nerve)

Kid: What I really want is a life size Mundus action figure complete with all his accessories, and thingies and…

Dante: Get off of my lap kid!  (Shoves the kid away from him)

Scene 2: Dante has another pesky kid on his lap.

Kid: Santa, since when did you shave?

Dante: Shut up. 

Kid: Santa, since when did you lose weight?

Dante: None of your business!

Kid: Santa, since when did you become so violent?

Dante: For crying out loud kid ask me what you want?!

Kid: Santa, why are you so temperamental?

Dante: Do you want me to throw you out of my lap?!

Scene 3: The kid still thinks that Dante is really Santa Claus.

Kid: Santa!  All I want for Christmas is my…

Dante: Two front teeth?

Kid: Not that.  What I really want is…

Dante: For the last time I'm not Santa Claus! ! !

11) Dante shrinks down to the size of a Ken doll.

Dante: What happened?!

Trish: Oh Dante!  Look how cute you are!  (Blushes)

Dante: What did you do to me?!

Trish: I bet these look good on you.  (Shows him some of Ken's clothes)

Dante: Nonono, I'm not wearing those.

Trish: Now now, it's dress up time.  (Evil grin)

Dante: Nononono!   Ahhhh!

12) Mundus is Dante's father?

Mundus: Dante!  I am your father!  (Star Wars like scenario)

Dante: Really?!

Mundus: Nah, just kidding.

Dante: Oh I thought so.  (Gives a sigh of relief)

Mundus: Actually I'm your grandfather.  (Grins)

Dante: …(Faints with disgust) 

*              *              *

G_of_S: Wow!  If I had a real Dante plushie…Kawaii!   Dante sama…  (Daydreams)

Dante: You are like so dead!  (Glares at G_of_S)

G_of_S: A doll sized Dante!  (Sweatdrop)

Dante: Umm, why are you staring at me like that?  

G_of_S: Must have Dante Plushie! 

Dante: Noooo!  I…can't…breathe…

G_of_S hugs the kawaii Dante plushie very tightly.

*              *              *

Japanese Terms

Kawaii: cute

Sama: it means with great respect and admiration to someone with authority or of a high stature.  It is placed after the name of the person.     

Gomenasai: sorry

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Author's notes: So did it give you guys/gals a laugh?  This is my first DMC fic.  Yeah I finally got to write one! ^_^ If you have any other ideas feel free to suggest any then I'll gladly post it here or maybe on the next chapter if there is gonna be any.  Please review and thank you for reading. 

                I added some funny stuff hope you enjoyed it too, I got some ideas from my sis too.  I'll try to think some more ok.  Can anyone tell me where to buy a Dante Plushie?

*              *              *

Dante: Wait! I'm not through with you yet!  (Dante's now back to normal)

G_of_S: Gomenasai Dante sama!  Ahhh, I'd better run, see ya' ppl.  JA NE!


End file.
